Thanks to the internet, we have a prolific archive of great things and by things I mean fails. Great fails such as Kola Boof thinking that we, Africans went about topless and ate lions, one @Currie_Powder convincing her that he’s a lion herder in Kenya’s neighbouring country, Rongai and breeds ‘fresian, africangus,barbay, katanga and transvall’ lions (this was a win!) read the whole storo here, robert alai ( I put his name here to get him pissed and therefore generate traffic to my blog, Yaiy!), the mama who went on about how fat women drive away their husbands (buzz died down pretty fast on that one) etc…
There have been a few other fails since then and one catastrophic fail was the TECNO Phantom A launch video. I’ve searched everywhere to see if it was made by students because that would explain it’s corniness, more specifically if it was made by daystar students, sample their work here, but they were students so it’s allowed.
The video starts in mildly unassuming way; graphics intro, weird innuendo just like the intro to the Outer Limits, exactly like the intro to the Outer Limits. I mean people you are in media, you are required to be the creative bunch. The intro quite frankly is the only cool thing about the video in particular the SIM card countdown thingy; though, why did they put a count down and a loader? because they can, that’s why.
1. Costume Design Team
What on earth was Mwakazi wearing? A cape. He, from what I gather from the comments made, was channelling the phantom of the opera get it, phantom; he’d just graduated from Uni read daystar and did not have time to take his gown off, he was channelling the wizard of OZ who was taking this amazing phone to Dorothy in Kansas but ended up in Kenya (damn apple maps) or a Naija witch doctor. For whatever reason, the costume team ‘raked in’ the biggest failure, bigger than my ksce results yikes!
Oh and Mwakazi, black gowns do not do you any justice; they make you head look big (talk about black being slimming!).
2. Production Team
The intro breaks away to this scene, a scene so original, so fresh, Steven Spielberg could not pull it out of his *** even if he tried (creative constipation perhaps, wrong!).
The production team did not stop there no, they went ahead to make Mwakazi look even sillier:
The even made him conjurer up p-unit, the marvels of daktari mwakazi.
And for his final act, he disappeared.
They should have done a Kenyan wizard series, no way that could have failed!
3. The Writing Team
The production team could have gotten away with the corniness of the wizard of OZ/Outer limits theme, the costume team already were out 10-nil now the writers, a special group this one; the whole video did not make sense, the writers could have saved it but then it would not have been as comical as it is, bless those geniuses! The lines that just did it for me…
... may I introduce myself, you can simply call me everything you are
okiey… And he went on to explain what he meant by this
I am good at my job, I get things done, the bottom line is safe with me, I know my sports, I need my stats, scores, the lastest news at my finger tips all in HD. Anything you want is yours,even when I go somewhere new I got all the information I need, before hand to carry on, blablabla
He carries on explaining stuff that is everything I am, apparently, but off the bat most of what he’s said does not explain why he said that he is everything I am; quite frankly I don’t follow sports or the news, I’m sometimes not so good at my job, that’s what we call a learning curve, I do get things done but that does not define my existence. So what I’m trying to point out here there’s no coherence between the first thought and the second… people were you puff puff passing when you wrote this?
The he continues to share what he truly likes with me, I though you were me and therefore share likes and I don’t like poo-unit (they like to smell their fingers and I don’t know where said fingers have been, it’s weird)
Then finally he throws in the phone specs which all other smart phones share and others have much advanced specs which will refute the fact that he thinks the Phantom A is a rrrreal smart phone rendering the others as fake; wifi (wow all smartphones have wifi), super slim (next), 8 MP camera back and front (the front one has a 1.3 MP camera, liar!), battery life, talk time blablabla… you could have had us if you implied it was like having a Samsung galaxy S4 mini for nearly half the price! That I think is the only plus of owning a phantom, you’re too broke to get the real deal.
Anywho we all learn from our mistakes, sadly some people have theirs immortalized on the internet as a constant reminder in case their head gets to big (sometimes they could be wearing a black gown so discern the reason for a big head before roasting). Noteable the makers of this video have been left unknown(as I said, geniuses!) and Mwakazi is left to bare the brunt of it all, tough luck next time listen to your agent/talent manager or better yet get a new one!
Whole Video below